Where Are You Aiming Your Lesson?

"Unlike amateur bowlers who aim down the middle with the hope of somehow creating an angle that knocks down all 10 pins, professional bowlers do not aim for the headpin.  They do not aim for the middle.  They aim for the outside pins, the ones that are the hardest to reach.  The reason that professional bowlers throw their balls at a curve is so they can knock down the outside pins, then the inside pins, ultimately creating a domino effect.  Simply, in order to knock down the most pins, professional bowlers aim for the pins that are the hardest to get."

Shelley Moore

Teacher, Author, Speaker

"One Without The Other"

? Elementary School, Edmonton, Canada

 This summer, I am going after some paper qualifications to back up my knowledge and understanding for the years of experience that I have had.  Honestly, sometimes these courses are an exercise in busy work because the aim is at the younger teacher who has less experience in the field.  I always say that if I learn one thing, then the course was valuable.  Such was the case this morning.  Our professor introduced us to a video that was not attached to an assignment.  We watched Shelley Moore talk about her bowling and I was fascinated.  It was a change maker for me.  I have always spent a great deal of energy and time working with the children who might be considered "outside pins."  It has really worked too but it is a whole lot of work.  Shelley's video today helped me to see how I teach differently.  Instead of aiming for the middle and then planning separately for my outside pins, I realize that if I plan my lesson to aim at the outside pins, I will get them all.  That sounds like a whole lot less work - different work, but less.  At my age and stage, having just gotten married to my soul mate, working more efficiently so that I can enjoy other aspects of my life too has become very important to me.  I haven't done in depth study of Shelley's techniques yet but I am going to do.  Her work just went on my very long summer reading list.  This entry is likely to be edited a few times as I do more research into her research.  I am forever grateful to the wise people like Shelley who give us a different way of thinking about things!

Terrain (Level of Difficulty):  💖💖

Kit List:

• notebook/computer
• pens, markers, crayons
• timetable
• video below

The Map:

So, here I am on December 28, after a long and difficult Fall.  The best laid plans of the summer are often put aside when the needs of the children take over.  Ideas, concepts and teaching skills that match the needs of the students rise to the surface.  Others, sit in the back of my mind until the day they are needed if they ever are. 

Not every great idea works for every teacher!  Good teachers are not good because they use all of the latest and greatest.  Good teachers, no - great teachers are great because they understand that there are a variety of superb strategies that don't have any use if the students don't connect with them.  We talk about children growing their backpacks of knowledge.  Great teachers have crates, boxes, files, and whole rooms filled with different strategies that work for different kiddos.  Great teachers are always in search of strategies because no matter how many years we teach and how many children we work with, there will always be at least one student who needs a different strategy for learning.  

It wasn't until I came back to edit this entry that I realized that the concept of "aim" had floated to the top like long vines of lake weed that almost strangled me until I dealt with it.  There were a variety of voices all speaking the same message with different words.  I was almost at my wits end when my favourite special education teacher took time out of her day off to speak to the methodology that matched this concept of aim.  I got it.  Despite her suggestion (with a smile because she knew) that I take the night off, I took out a whole stack of scrap paper and started writing and charting and planning until I had an idea about what my next steps were.

Before you aim, you have to look at the pins.  These are the questions that I asked myself.

-How many pins are you looking at in total.

-How old are they?

-How do the pins identify with regards to gender.

-How many ELL pins do you teach?

-Are there any students with identified special learning needs?

-Are there any pins with sensory, behaviour, social, or emotional needs?

-What is the average reading level?

-What are the average skills abilities in writing?

-Where are your pins with their numeration skills?

-Do the pins have good expression skills (printing, typing, speaking)?

-What energy levels are there?

-Are the students working together as a community?

With the answers to those questions in mind, I started with the timetable.  

Aim:  Low (i) and High (ii)

    i. language skills are generally extremely low and needed across all subject areas, this has to be a priority  

    ii. there are children reading at grade level who will need to learn word decoding for new vocabulary.  

   i. basic numeration skills will also be necessary.  

   ii. problem solving strategies are missing

    i. pencil grip, printing and colouring skills are generally not mastered

    ii.  comprehension of the concept of quality of work is mostly not understood and an introduction to learning extensions will move the higher students along

-continue my PBL (problem based learning) units to keep interest and enthusiasm up while integrating all of my other subject areas.

-teach in small 10-15 minute chunks with transitions and changes between each learning chunk

You can see my timetable linked in the materials.  Since I basically have 2 blocks of 100 minutes, I decided to put the focus of literacy and numeracy in those blocks.  Most of my Morning Meeting has a math focus so it seemed more natural to put the math first (which may be contrary to many old folks like me who remember when the first 100 minutes of a primary student's day was religiously kept for language).  The other reason for putting it there was to ensure that I got a whole 100 minutes for language.  After attendance, announcements, online assemblies...  that first block gets short changed a fair amount.  I had decided that language was the priority so I wanted that block to be sacred.  I added the Minds Up program on Mondays to help the children with some self regulation.  And, I am well known for "Free Friday Fun" where I take out a different set of board games, cooperative games, card games... on Fridays and we play.  It's one of my favourite parts of the week and of course I kept it.  

Basically, I had 3 goals!  That seemed pretty manageable.  To make it even more manageable, I removed all paper/pencil activities except for the phonics worksheet each morning.  I armed myself with:

-class set of whiteboards

-many whiteboard markers of varying widths (one to simulate the size of a pencil)

-class set of fabric work gloves for erasing whiteboards

-class set of clear plastic folders with printing paper inside (two lines split by a dotted line)

-200's charts

-individual plastic bags with letter squares

-making words desktop organizers

-pencil crayons in cups (organized by colour)

-class set of 10-sided dice

-my phone for photographing work samples, audio recording conversations, videotaping kids at work (parents had given permission for my use only)

-large lined yellow sticky note pad for keeping detailed notes

-my watch timer and phone timer

-a wireless doorbell

These were the supplies that I would need everyday.  I didn't give them to the children to store since that would add another layer of complexity.  I kept them in two bins that were easily accessible.  

The Task:

I broke down each part of my new day into the skills that the students would be required to know in order to be successful.  Since almost everything in my day was no longer than 15 minutes, the children would need to be efficient.  Before I began the art of teaching the curriculum, I went back and methodically taught the skills necessary to do the activity.  Here is an example.

Morning Phonics Activity

                Skills required:  get books, open to the page for the day, figure out the instructions, use pencil crayons from tray, colour properly, complete the activity well, work with a peer when needed, extend learning

1.  To start, I put the students' books on their desks before they arrived and opened them to the correct page.  As they got used to this over the next few days, I closed the books and had the children find the page (there weren't many in the book to make it easier).  Finally, after two weeks, I put the books in a bin as they entered the classroom.  I know you're thinking that 2 weeks wouldn't be enough for some but I am going to get to that with my aim at both ends.

2.  I enlarged the worksheets to 11X17" on the photocopier and demonstrated where I could find the instructions and what to do if I couldn't read them.  We talked about how the worksheet gave us clues.  There were only 2 different types of worksheets.  On one, they had to colour the picture that matched the initial sound in the box.  On the other, they had to circle the letter of the initial sound.  I knew that all of my students knew their initial sounds so the focus was not on the curriculum.  I gave them a whole class rule which we use for everything now.  If the sheet does not require colouring, two things must be coloured well on it.  Why?  I wanted them to slow down and consider the quality of what they were handing in.  I also wanted them to practice colouring.

3.  I taught the children to colour in one direction after tracing the shape that they are colouring.  

Now, before I go on, many of you who are younger are going to think that I am just reverting back to old school teaching.  You might suggest that my focus is on the wrong thing.  You might say that I shouldn't put my focus here because it isn't in the curriculum.  I'll take all of that!  What you can't argue is the subjective perception of quality!  There are few in this world who would look at a ratty paper bag, ripped and filthy and pick that for their lunch over a shiny Paw Patrol lunch box even though the contents might be exactly the same.  Teaching children to present their learning in ways that are appealing makes their jobs really a whole lot easier.  

I held them to that standard.  I made extra copies of each worksheet.  Now this next part, you need to do with a lot of finesse and understanding.  When a child handed me their work, if they hadn't followed the rules for colouring, I gave them a new sheet.  I didn't say anything.  I didn't berate.  I suggested they go back and remember what the rules for the activity were.  I didn't do it with every student either.  This, I think, is something I can't teach.  You need to know who and when you can do this and if you make a mistake, you'd better be awfully quick to the apology.  I had 2 little ones who tested me at first.  They both did the same sheet 3 times.  When I gave them the third sheet, I lightly tapped my pile of extras so they knew I was in it for the long haul.  They are two of my most diligent workers now!  Their work is stunning, complete and often they are extending their own learning.

4.  To go with this, I gave them pencil crayons.  I said many times, "The great thing about pencil crayons is that you can erase a mistake."  No one ever asks me to use markers anymore and if you teach primary, you know what a miracle this is!  We'll talk about markers in the new year.  

5.  What is always a tricky concept is knowing when you are done.  What does "done" mean?  How do I know if I have everything.  Remember that when you are aiming, you are aiming at both sides of the bowling lane.  This is where the "high" students are brought in.  Since the activity is easier for them, they can check a peer's work and they can talk about how to make the work better.  The skills of this conversation need to be carefully taught.  I use standard lines at first and I heard many of my students using them with each other.  For example, "I really like the way you coloured the clown's hair orange!  I wonder if you thought about how many pictures we have to colour on this page."  

Important Note:  Your "high" students aren't high in everything!  A good balanced day includes times where every single student in your class has an opportunity to be the "high" kid!

6.  Finally, there is the concept of "extending your own learning."  In Ontario, we assess a B+ to a student who is meeting the provincial standard.  A's are only given to students who demonstrate understanding or skill beyond the provincial standard.  So, I teach the children how to do that.  This was the perfect place since I knew that all of my students knew their initial sounds.  We discussed and brainstormed ways that the children could show me that they knew more about sounds than what was required.  This gave everyone an opportunity to earn an A on the activity.  It also set up each of my students to excel when they are on the high side of the bowling lane.  

Breaking the day down, and teaching each of the skills for each of the 10-15 minute blocks this way didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would.  We'd already built community and believe it or not the children were very enthusiastic about this new direction.  I am going to chalk that up to them finding success, knowing how to achieve more success, and feeling comfortable with the expectations.  I started in the middle of October and by the first of November, I was full tilt back into teaching the curriculum and the learning rate became out of this world!  My class reading average jumped from PM Level 5 to PM level 14 in reading alone in just 2 months!  Believe me when I tell you that not one of my lessons is one of those spectacular lessons that I worked so hard with to have props and costumes and magic...  These were simple 10 minute activities.  For example, one of my students' most favourite word wall games is to see how many times they can write the hardest word wall word in one minute.  Yep!  I was disgusted too!  To think of the time, I had spent planning and prepping and buying materials for fantastic lessons when I can get the whole class in loud cheers just by taking out a one minute sandtimer and pointing to the word wall while all the children have their whiteboards.  (I'll detail the other games, lessons, and activities that I use in math and language in a later entry).  

Here is the key and the place where I cycle back to the aim!  I am confidently professionally bowling in my classroom now.  The 10 minute activities give the children who are on the outside section of the lane and struggling a chance for direct and specific instruction.  The repetition of lessons and activities keeps the focus on the new skill or concept instead of on the instruction.  The children on the other side of the lane who are finding the concept or skill easy are not bored.  The movement of the day is fast.  They have learned to extend their learning and help others constructively.  I have to laugh now when I hear a student say, "I'm teaching fishing, Mrs. Moffatt." -but that's a story for another day.  Everyone - literally everyone - is learning and growing and happy!   One of the children who was having a great deal of difficulty before the switch was overheard by his mother telling his 3 year old sister that she had to get Mrs. Moffatt as a teacher because she makes everything about learning fun (remember the 1 minute sandtimer?).  It's disgusting!  But, I'll take bowling in a league like that everyday and twice on Sundays!

Tip #11:  KISST

If you didn't hear it, let me repeat it again!  Keep It Simple Smart Teacher!  If it isn't manageable, it won't work.  That's the biggest lesson that I learned this Fall and it took a long time for me to learn it.  It doesn't have to be complex.  Everyone wants to feel successful.  Teach people in ways that brings this to light instead of tears it down.  If the students aren't responding, what you are doing isn't working!  That is your job!  Pull up your adult pant strap and find another strategy!  It's doesn't have to be magic or complicated or fancy!  Just do it!

Tip #12:  Is This Really My Job?

Yes, this really is your job.  It isn't the student's job to teach themselves.  It is absolutely yours!  Teaching is not talk at, lecturing, assigning and marking.  Teaching is learning, developing, adapting, modifying, being creative and finding strategies that work.  Don't give up!  Even on the last day of school, I still think about strategies that I might have tried to make things easier for kiddos to understand!  Teaching is an art and a science but it is without a colour wheel or a table of chemical elements.  Sometimes, it is all about blood, sweat and tears.  I had much of that this Fall.  Every drop of that is worth it to see my students where they are now!  Getting here is the passion that drives me past the days I wonder if I've got what it takes.  And yes, 31 years in, there are still days like that!

Adventure Recipe: Find Your Soul Colleagues

This may not be as intuitive as you think!  Finding a group of people who may or may not know each other from a variety of different backgrounds, experiences, and years of experience is really important.  I'm quite blessed to have my parents who were both teachers advise me.  I also have a whole group of other people whose wise words I remember because they are no longer here or whose phone numbers I can call when I'm struggling.  Not all of them are teachers.  Sometimes, our soul colleagues have a different point of view.  This is probably the largest group of people that I surround myself with and most of us would never socialize but we have a keen respect for each other.  Their voices range from the progressive educators to the old school, one room teaching style educators.  They are passionate about what they do and they are successful.  Even though some of us would kill each other if we had to work together, we can stand back from each other and see which parts of each other's styles might work for us and why they work for them.  

In October, this year, I was falling apart.  Neither myself nor the students were having the fun or the learning that we wanted to have!  I was exhausted, frustrated, and even questioned if I had waited one year too long before I retired.  I was also not alone.  My classroom door was sometimes a revolving door of other teachers in exactly the same place.  This post Covid return to a school building with all of the Covid protocols still in place was exhausting and hard for everyone!  It was a Tuesday.  I won't forget that because for whatever magical reason, Tuesdays are our hardest days together with this class.  I broke down in tears.  I thought that I had tried every strategy I had.  It wasn't working and dealing with yet another social breakdown at recess put me over the edge.  I was so sad for these kiddos and myself.  My special education teacher works 4 days/week but she is one of my soul colleagues!  I called her, apologized, gave her an out in case she was in the middle of something on her day off, and begged her for help.  She hit the nail on the head!  Sometimes, it is the special education teacher's voice that will speak to you better than any other.  They know your students.  They know you.  They've seen you in action.  This is absolutely true of my soul colleague.  Even though I couldn't see her smile when she told me to take the night off, knowing full well that I wouldn't, I knew it was there!  She untangled me from all that lake weed that was threatening to strangle me, translated the information into useable chunks, and gave me a virtual hug when I needed it!  

If you don't have your set of soul colleagues, you know what your first job is once you've finished reading this post!  Go find them!!!!!!

  

 

Teaching is Most Definitely Customer Service

"We see our customers as invited guests to a party and we are the hosts.  It's our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little better"

Jeff Bezos

CEO of Amazon/Richest Man in the World 2021

River Oaks Elementary School

 It's 3:00 in the morning on a Thursday and I'm wide awake.  Partly that is the hazard of becoming an older woman.  Partly it is because my husband woke me up - scratch that - the dog woke me up when my husband came home from a late night hockey game.  Partly it is because I can't help thinking about an observation that I made today about my parent communication.  You see, over the years, I have come to be known as a straight shooter.  I say it like I see it.  For some parents that is a difficult bullet to swallow.  Some take it in stride and work with me quite cooperatively.  Some come around to my way of thinking.  Some, though, have become antagonistic which has ultimately lead to a whole lot more sleepless nights in frustration.  That's not why I am (partly) awake tonight!  In fact, I have almost the opposite feeling from frustration.  

Last year, I got the opportunity to be in a workshop about communication.  Imagine that after 30 years of teaching, the first time anyone has offered me an opportunity to learn about communicating with parents was in an online education, pandemic year.  The workshop was offered by a teacher and the principal of the online school and they both talked about it with analogies to the customer service model.  A former, not popular with teachers, Premier of Ontario (Mike Harris) said many years ago that education needed to follow more of a customer service model and I remember standing on the picket lines surrounded by many people like me who were repulsed by that sentiment.  However, I will forever be indebted to Mike Harris and the workshop leaders for what I see as an incredibly positive twist to how my last 5-10 years of teaching will be.  

To elaborate, yesterday the kiddos in my class decided to wage a  mini war with following rules.  This is not really uncommon at this point in the year and is especially less unexpected since these children have never had a complete year of school away from home and they are in the second grade.  So, when I decided to very firmly state my case and give them a 5 minute recess break to consider what was going on, there was a fair amount of surprise and sadness in my kiddos.  As a result, I needed to communicate with some parents.  In the past, I got some push back from parents who disagreed with my methods or felt their child was not to blame...  But this year, I have been using my newfound communication strategies.  I still wasn't confident though and I spent the early part of the evening waiting with anxiety for the replies.  This is where I tell you why I am awake.  The parent replies thanked me.  They expressed appreciation for the work that I am doing and they offered cooperation if I am to come up against any further mini wars.  I am stunned!  I am thrilled!  I think I finally get it!  Bye, bye straight shooter.  Some might call that slow learning but I'll take it!

Terrain (Level of Difficulty):  💖💖💖💖💖

Kit List:

• a note beside your desk
• a deep breath
• your heart
• some customer service training

The Map:

I have a self-made poster beside me at my desk for regular review and format instructions made from my take aways from the workshop.  I'm not going to share that with you because I think you need to decide what your take aways are and how you will communicate with parents with your new knowledge.  Suffice it to say though, you are getting my interpretation of the information that I gleened from the workshop.  Credit should be given completely for this information to the workshop presenters but in the interest of their privacy, I am not naming them here.

1.  The first thing to consider is that the student you are working with is a parent's most prized possession (not the right word but I'm heading somewhere).  They were loved before they even arrived on this planet.  They have been the centre of this parent's world ever since.  Not only are they prized but they were hand-made (so to speak).  That is to say that they carry the same genetic codes and the parent will naturally feel some responsibility for the quality of their prized creation.  Think of it like your home.  It is the most expensive and a very important possession that you own.  Should someone come along and tell you all about your bad decisions, all the things you did wrong and all that is wrong with your home, you would naturally feel a number of unpleasant emotions.  Multiply that by a google plex and you are close to connecting with the the relationship and emotion that a parent has for a child.  If you have a child, then I am preaching to the choir but remember that those connections happen in other families than just yours.  Other families whose methods you don't agree with;  whose child rearing philosophy seems completely wrong;  whose education, culture, socio-economic status... are foreign to you.  

And, that young soul will also be deeply affected by what and how you communicate.  So will you!

2.  So that's your customer!  They are emotionally involved, intimately connected, and they have some goals and dreams for that student of yours.  Keeping them in the loop, considering them a partner in the education of their child, and celebrating successes will all go a long way to proactively keeping your customer happy.  For that reason, it is important to set-up a foundation for general communication throughout the year.  Here are some things you might consider.

        a.  Send a newsletter out on the first day of school that introduces yourself.  Demonstrate enthusiasm for the new school year and talk about some of the exciting activities that are ahead for the year in general terms.  Ask the parents to send in supplies for the student (i.e., indoor shoes, pencil crayons...) and give them time to go shopping for them.  (Remember some people get paid monthly and shopping may only happen at one time each month.)  In your newsletter, provide information to parents about translation options available within your Board.  This is an equity issue and one that I think we need to consider more carefully as we learn.

        b.  Create a template that you will use for your monthly newsletter and calendar.  Parents like to be forewarned of upcoming events so they can prepare and a paper or digital copy of the upcoming activities and events helps them track - especially for parents with multiple children throughout the school system.  I borrowed this version from a teacher friend of mine.  In early days, mine were much too long and wordy.  One page double-sided is plenty.  My calendar is online for quick access.  It is linked to my hub (more about that in a minute).  This, again, is not my original creation.  Much thanks to the teachers in the Bitmoji For Educator's group on Facebook for all of their generous sharing.  You can find many other similar templates there if this one doesn't suit your particular needs.

        c.  Some teachers think this next suggestion is overkill and I get it because it is extra work.  I do a daily/weekly (depends on how much time and effort you want to put in) summary.  Our school board uses Google Classroom so I post those there in a Classwork section called, "What Happened At School Today?".  I often include photographs (with permission of course) of the children doing their activities, examples of great work, charts that I am using, resources to check for further help, and a quick reminder of upcoming events.  Not all of the parents of students in my class keep up with this but those that do really like it and have often expressed their appreciation for knowing what is going on in our classroom.  One of my new colleagues prefers a weekly template and she and the parents of her kiddos are happy with the format.

        d.  All the rage right now are Classroom Aps or Hubs.  There are many templates on Bitmoji Craze For Educators for you to use and tailor to whatever works for you and your class.  If you are unsure of how to do one, I really like all of the Youtube instruction videos created by Lisa Mazariego.  She is creative and fun, explicit and clear.  Mine works for me and is borrowed from one such generous creator and sharer on that site.  

            i.  Check out the Parent Homework section.  This is a great way to get an idea of how the parent feels about the upcoming year, about the child themselves, and about any issues that you will want to know early in the year.

            ii.  Also check out the "Handle With Care" message on the bottom of the Parent Homework page.  This is new to me and the idea when viral in early August this year.  I am happy about how many parents have felt comfortable using that process already this year.  

        e.  This last part is completely optional but I want you to think about how easy your term reports will be if you put a little leg work in monthly.  In my first years of teaching, Peter (a great and very patient grade 3 teacher and mentor) showed me a Mini-Report Card.  I had never heard of these before.  He sent them out at the end of every month to let a parent know how the progress was going.  He said that it helped him to focus where his teaching efforts needed to be, contact a parent of a student who is struggling early and employ strategies to help, and it was really easy to write report cards at the end of the term.  I was skeptical but I tried it and 31 years later, I still send out a monthly Min-Report.  They have changed formats over the years and I have seen teachers who do simple checklists.  I am quite pleased with my latest edit because it focusses on the positive which was even more important this year when the children are (HOPEFULLY!!!!!) going to have a full, relatively normal year in a school building for the first time in their lives.  I keep mine short and focus on the big subjects in primary.  A couple quick sentences and a next step is all I fill into each box.  I also ask the parent for feedback.  This ensures that they received it and read it but it also ensures that I know how they are feeling about the process.  Do it or don't.  It is optional!  Me, I'll be doing it until I retire!

You might be asking if there is overlap in the types of communication that I do.  There is!  Some parents like their information in paper copy.  Some prefer just to check the web.  Some like general information only.  Some like very specific information.  It is a lot of work but I get good results from happy customers and that's my goal!

3.  The workshop presenters talked about "Sunshine Notes."  These can come in any form and can be sent home paper or electronic.  There are certificates and template notes that you can use.  I keep it simple and just send a quick email home to a parent titled "Sunshine Note" with a little sentence or two about something that their child did that was good.  Especially at the beginning of the year, ensure that you send out one or more of these to every student's family.  These let a parent know that you like their child, are noticing some great things, and that you are happy they are in your class.  Doing this early helps if you have to send a less positive message later on.

4.  Never underestimate the power of your voice or face to face encounters.  One of the presenters encouraged us to take one night each week and call 4 parents to share a little sunshine, update them on how things are going, ask a question...  This gives parents another opportunity to know that you care about them and their child.  It is also far more powerful than an email!  Doing both is really nice touch!  In addition, it is often preferable to talk to a parent when they are angry or it is a more serious manner.  This avoids any chance that either one of you will slip into your alter ego - keyboard warrior.  In addition, a parent can hear care in your voice that they cannot read in an email.

Every now and then, no matter how hard you try and how many good strategies you employ, you are going to hear from an angry parent.  These test your most fundamental customer service skills.  It is also a time when you have to work the hardest at maintaining those skills.  Here are some steps to follow to help guide you through these difficult situations.

1.  Remember that it isn't about you!  It sounds like it is because the anger is directed at you.  The focus is almost always the child.  Remembering that you are both on the same team and that you and they want the best for the child is crucial in these situations.

2.  Model the calm!  I have this in big capital letters on my little poster!  Practicing a quick set of relaxation steps that you will use when this happens to get yourself focussed on the child and parent - not the anger is very important!

3.  Apologize!  We are all human.  We make mistakes like everyone else.  If you made one, own up to it.  It is scary at first perhaps, but I have gotten incredible responses by just admitting that I made a mistake and talking about how I will make amends.  Sometimes, it works to apologize in a different way that also can de-escalate the situation - "I'm really sorry that you are feeling..."  The truth is that I am sorry that they are angry or upset and I do want to help.

4.  Find something that you both agree about.  It can be as simple as, "I completely agree that the situation was very upsetting for you."  Sometimes you have to dig deep but it is important to agree in order to halt the accusations and focus on solutions.

5.  Sometimes, you need to "Cut it in half.  React tomorrow."  In some cases, the anger triggers something in you that is bringing out more emotion than you can manage and still provide excellent customer service.  I like the sentiment of the sentence and I think a good night's sleep, a little shop talk with a trusted colleague, and a nice meal can go a long way to helping you with your strategies.

6.  There are situations where a parent for numerous reasons that we can not predict is having a hard time and is frequent in their negative correspondence.  In those cases, I often type a reply or write a note that says that I received their message and "Thanks for letting me know."  Not engaging in those kinds of repetitive conversations will often go a long way to turning the situation around.

7.  Don't forget that you are supported.  You have colleagues with good ideas (leave the name of the parent and student out of the conversation).  You have administration who may be able to support you and may get a call or email about the situation too.  Being proactive if you think this is going to happen is a good idea.  Letting your principal know allows them to prepare.  

Hint:  Principals often like if you go to them with solutions instead of problems.  So I often will start a conversation with a principal by saying, "I don't need anything.  For your information...  I am employing the following strategies..."

Finally, how you communicate your message to parents is so very important and I have internalized a set of routines that help me when I am emailing, on the phone, or in person.

1.  Do some background research so you are not blindsided with, "This is the first time that I have ever heard this before."  It may be and it may not be.  Knowledge in this situation is a very important tool.

2.  If you are  phoning during the school day, please start your conversations with, "Everything is ok!" to alleviate any fears that something is wrong with their child.

3.  Tell the parent something that you like about their child or something that you have been noticing they are doing well first.  No matter what the situation, easing the tension by starting there is important. 

4.  The next section depends on what and how you need to proceed.  You can start with a question (i.e., Are you noticing... at home?).  Or you can start with, "I do have a small thing I'd like to talk to you about."  Avoid using the words "issue," "problem," and "concern."  Then tell the parents in objective terms what you are thinking about.  Don't guess about how the child felt or put any subjective judgements on it.  Just recount the sitatuation.

5.  LISTEN! EMPATHIZE!  LISTEN SOME MORE!

6.  Talk to the parent about your next steps.  Yes, you have them because you did your research and you created a plan before you contacted the parent.  Keep it positive as much as possible.

7.  End by circling back to your first statements about liking the student and/or something they have been doing well.  

Note:  My emails yesterday followed this pattern and I am still glowing with the results!

Tip #9:  Document Everything

There are a million ways to do this and it often relates to your personal, organizational style.  My format is a weekly booklet with each child's name and other information that I frequently need.  I use this booklet to record all contacts with parents.  My record of recording what happens during the day with the children is evolving.  I'm sure I will have another blog entry about that when I get a little more cemented.

Tip #10:  Is This Really My Job?

Yes, this really is your job.  You are in the vocation of teaching another person's child and communicating with them about the progress so that the education can continue in further years.  It absolutely is a lot of hard work.  It's what you signed up for even if you didn't realize it.  And here's the thing...  If you communicate well, the rest of your job seems a whole lot easier!  Trust me!  You'd rather do all this positive and creative work so that you are not spending hours angry, frustrated and not sleeping because you are at odds with a parent.  The reason for the communication is always the child!  Remember what I said a whole lot earlier...  What you say and how you say it will be felt by them too!

Adventure Recipe: Resources

I have purposefully linked all of the resources that I have to share above.  I'd love to see templates of things that you are using and hear some feedback.  Please feel free to share!

Magic Story: The Best Part of Me (Wendy Ewald)

"We should embrace what makes us different, our different styles, 

our creativity."

Chantelle Brown Young

Canadian model, Vitiligo

                     Home School (to escape bullies), Mississauga, Canada  

 One year, I was transferred to a new school and began teaching grade 6.  It was early on in my career and I was getting bounced all over the place due to surpluses and redundancies.  My first day with this group was a real eye opener!  They were children who demonstrated zero confidence or appreciation for the great kids that they actually were.  About 20 minutes into the first day, a student burst into the portable and was met with a chorus of giggles and taunts and teasing.  I was horrified!  Standing before me was a young boy, small in stature.  He had old, torn clothes, no backpack, and he was obviously in need of some personal care.  He had a mouth full of teeth that protruded and when I smiled at him and he smiled back, I noted what a sweet young man he was!  His smile lit up his face even when I know how hard he was holding back his tears.  I worked really hard at trying to pull that group together and help my little friend fit it.  In fact, I taught them for 3 years.  I was so thrilled when he found a little group of boys that he felt comfortable with and I used to happily remark how they played together and teased each other in much more supportive and comfortable ways.  Once I said to him, "You are a great person and I really like having you in my class."  His response was quiet and sullen.  "There is nothing great about me!"  It was at that moment that I realized that my best efforts with him were not going to improve his academics if I didn't help him see that he was capable, powerful,and awesome.  In fact, I realized what I had always known but rarely purposefully and reflectively planned about.  If a person doesn't feel adequate... better yet, worthwhile, there is little chance that any of the learning that occurs will have much effect.  

Terrain (Level of Difficulty):💖💖💖

Kit List:

• "The Best Part of Me" by: Wendy Ewald  in the Magic Story bag
•  Magic Story Bag
•  photo album with sticky pages (not slots)  in the Magic Story bag
•  student use camera or phone  in the Magic Story bag
•  blackline masters for students to complete (free)  in the Magic Story bag
• pencils, crayons, markers...

The Map:

                                                     

 

I have a scheduled time each week for Magic Story but in the first month of school, I like to have a Magic Story everyday.  This builds the enthusiasm, magic and excitement for Magic Stories to come.  It also helps take that community building that we all do at the beginning of the year to the next level - from "Oh no!  More school work!" to "Wow! This is school work?"

Before I begin, I think it is important that you know the basic background of the story that I tell.  The Magic Backyard, for me, is a place where all the characters of all the stories of all the world live.  Each time I go there, one of the characters will fill my bag with their story and a little gift for the children to help them remember the story.  This was how I started and as you will see with each new blog post, it has turned into a whole way of thinking and doing in my classrooms.  In fact, each year, my students decide whether they would like to be an official Magic Backyard class and fulfill the responsibilities of it.  More about that another time.  

I always hang my Magic Story bag where the kids can see it and where they don't have ready access to it.  It is a good time to explain to children about personal property and respect for it.  I use my Magic Backyard to back me up instead of making it another lecture.  For example, I go over the history of the Magic Bag and how I received it when I was very young and only I hold the key to the Magic Backyard.  All the characters of all the stories of all the world have entrusted me with this bag and this key and it is really important that I keep both safe.  In addition, I would feel sad if the characters in the Magic Backyard felt that they couldn't trust my kiddos and decided that stories would not be offered this year.  "I know this is the same with your special things too," I tell them.  "We all need to be very careful to respect the trust and special-ness of each of our personal items."  It is important in these first few days with your Magic Story bag to be able to sell it.  My story has grown over time and often based on the questions of the children.  (Remember what you build on your story though because if you stay at the school, future siblings will test you!)

This is probably a good time to talk about older students and how they respond!  My father taught high school from before I was born.  We have always talked about how people of all ages enjoy magic and fun.  He had stickers and stamps for his students and when I went to the same high school, I used to hear all of my friends rave about which ones they got.  I've taught, now, all of the grades from kindergarten to 8 in regular classes and special environments.  I have never forgone my Magic Story bag or my story.  My grade eights tested me a whole lot less than the grade 1 students that I taught this year, in fact.  Of course, you want to change the direction a little but my grade 8 students cheered as loudly as my primary students when the bag came out and we all sat down to enjoy a story together.  It's about how you sell it.  

Note:  I posted my first blog to FB last week and both a former school custodian and a former grade 7/8 student commented that they remember the Magic Backyard and really loved it.  I worked with both of them more than 15 years ago.  

When, it's story time, I gather the students around me.  We don't sit in chairs and desks for stories.  It's a great time to come to the carpet, go outside, or go to another cozy place in the school to read our story.  I take out only the book to start and I read to the students.  I have learned the power of allowing children to interject when they think of something that they feel or connect to...  It's shared reading in the best way.  There are no comprehension questions or boring activities to go with the story.  I read, sometimes they help, and we all enjoy the words and their collected messages.  

After the story, I always like to ask a leading question if the children didn't get there on their own.  For this one, I always say, "It's too bad there aren't more pages because I have some great ideas about the best part of me.  What is the best part of you?"  This sparks all kinds of discussion and I often give children an opportunity to freely talk to each other about their ideas.  Then I will say without calling for their attention specifically beforehand, "Hmmmm!  I wonder what the children from this book sent us as a gift."  I can usually count on immediate attention back to the bag.  That's when I take out the photo album and let the children think about and discuss what they think we should do with it.  Then we take out the camera which is usually a big hit.  Finally, I take out the blackline masters.  Other than cries for "How do you spell...?" I can often hear happy students talking about what they are writing and working together to take pictures of each other.  It's one of those magical and powerful parts of my day that help me to go home feeling good about what was accomplished!

Tip#2:  Your Story Time:  I am getting pretty good at thinking on my feet with regards to my Magic Backyard and Story Bag.  At the beginning, though, I spent some time thinking about what I wanted to share and how I would answer questions.  When you begin, you may not have all the answers to their questions and you may not know your direction yet.  That is absolutely okay!  Many times, when challenged, I have answered with, "that is a question to be answered later" or "I will have to check to see if that's something that the characters are willing to share now."  Sell it and usually you will get some begging but I have had little problem putting the children off until I figure it out.  

It wasn't until I had been teaching the Magic Backyard for more than 20 years that I found myself, again, having to scramble for an answer to a question that I had never been asked and wasn't prepared for.  I was teaching in a small class of children who had varying and sometimes very limiting learning differences (in Ontario, they are called students with developmental delays but I hate that term).  One of my little ones with all kinds of excitement asked me, "Where is your key?  Can we see it?"  Oh no!  I didn't have a key on my ring and no one had every asked me that.  I used my line, "I'll have to check to see if that is something that I am allowed to share first."  That night I went scrambling out to find an old, antique skeleton key which I put on my ring for our next Magic Story.

Tip #3:  Read and Repeat:  The Magic Stories have become some of the best loved stories with my kiddos.  While I don't leave those books out for children to look through on their own, we do refer to them in other lessons frequently, reread them...  Here are some things to think about to help keep a record and enjoy the stories throughout the year.

• Create a bulletin board where you can keep track of the stories that you have shared with an interactive portion where the children can mark their favourites or write what they liked about a story.
• Reread or repeat a story when the message could stand a quick review or rethinking of strategies.  I do "The Best Part of Me" three times throughout the year and keep all of their responses in the book.  It's a great record of how writing has improved but also about how they have grown and changed.  You will note 3 different templates in the files for different stages of writing.  I tend to use the first one in September, the second one in January, and the the third one in June with primary students.
• Keep your own treasure box of the gifts that are received in a place where the children can see that you think they are special too and can remember them.

Adventure Recipe:  Looking for a quick organization of the lesson?  Check out this resource to help you plan your Magic Story time.

• Magic Story Plan